I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
