I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
