you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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