East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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