I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
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I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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