We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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