i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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