I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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