she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
