So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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