Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
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Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
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So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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