Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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