Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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