Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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