1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
