the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
