What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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