I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
