yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
