dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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