we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
