she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
