the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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