You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
