So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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