Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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