we're blogging at a bar
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I need to align my fucking chakras
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
