I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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