Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
