she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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