It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
