Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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