There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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