dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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