I just made out with a guy for $7.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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