I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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