All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
