Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
