and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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