I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
