Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
