i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wear drunk well.
Randomize