Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
