'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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