So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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