he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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