We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
