I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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