Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
