kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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