my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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