I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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