I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
