I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
