If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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