We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
