i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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