id be glad to
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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