C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
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I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
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Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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