He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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